We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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