Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
