White coat. Heels.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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