I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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