I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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