omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
