Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
