I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
