I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it was like eating out sand paper
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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