Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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