An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
