I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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