tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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