It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize