I queefed so loud it echoed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Shame - the story of my life.
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