come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
