Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
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Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...