Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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