Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

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  (612): we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/eg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (4761) Bad night (672)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?

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  (804): does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app? http://tfl.nu/1l1k
  Replies (41) Good night (906) Bad night (3467)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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  (573): shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls. http://tfl.nu/v89m
  Replies (38) Good night (1695) Bad night (4125)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting

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  (845): I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting http://tfl.nu/6shn
  Replies (11) Good night (4271) Bad night (1388)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  No thats like a top 10

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  (918): is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night? (1-918): No thats like a top 10 http://tfl.nu/uawo
  Replies (35) Good night (6730) Bad night (976)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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  (636): hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls? http://tfl.nu/dqbw
  Replies (17) Good night (5162) Bad night (1063)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me

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  (+44): The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me http://tfl.nu/123e
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (2993)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?

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  (954): Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs? http://tfl.nu/j7df
  Replies (6) Good night (2383) Bad night (1012)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.

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  (773): Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night. http://tfl.nu/pczq
  Replies (8) Good night (2278) Bad night (1000)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.

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  (908): I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats. http://tfl.nu/npuf
  Replies (7) Good night (1646) Bad night (733)
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  (916): View more from California

  They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk

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  (916): They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk http://tfl.nu/jqnb
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (1415)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.

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  (406): You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock. http://tfl.nu/e7xz
  Replies (8) Good night (978) Bad night (467)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.

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  (907): Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens. http://tfl.nu/yi6v
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (323)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science

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  (978): Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science http://tfl.nu/dvcx
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (376)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...

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  (+61): yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear... http://tfl.nu/thfz
  Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (294)

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