I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich