Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer. http://tfl.nu/xmgi
  Replies (5) Good night (646) Bad night (1952)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions http://tfl.nu/jkxb
  Replies (27) Good night (840) Bad night (4133)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list http://tfl.nu/8owq
  Replies (20) Good night (11701) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared. http://tfl.nu/7yxr
  Replies (13) Good night (5688) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer. http://tfl.nu/ud7u
  Replies (21) Good night (4419) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened. http://tfl.nu/4exz
  Replies (23) Good night (6555) Bad night (2894)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2
  Replies (10) Good night (4033) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex http://tfl.nu/mh19
  Replies (26) Good night (1630) Bad night (4187)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage. http://tfl.nu/ccnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2707) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with http://tfl.nu/wqvq
  Replies (11) Good night (743) Bad night (2661)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/2jpe
  Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned. http://tfl.nu/z20l
  Replies (20) Good night (770) Bad night (2352)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame. http://tfl.nu/nf1o
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0 http://tfl.nu/ayul
  Replies (6) Good night (354) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Would you still love me if my nipple fell off? http://tfl.nu/cwwj
  Replies (5) Good night (225) Bad night (426)

Randomize