Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

Fav 4 1175 940
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man

Fav 15 1670 1128
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.

Fav 18 6353 916
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.

Fav 13 4434 871
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.

Fav 25 1122 5381
share tweet
(863): View more from Florida

In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.

Fav 4 1852 918
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.

Fav 16 3797 1035
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.

Fav 4 601 787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

I've had more orgasms than showers this week.

Fav 3 125 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT