When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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