Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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