I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
