Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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