I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We talked him into tasing himself.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
