Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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