I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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