Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just want to make out with him forever
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize