Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
