The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
