The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
