you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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