WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
