I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
