God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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