when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
