Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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