The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
