It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
