Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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