It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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