toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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