it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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