ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my being single is dangerous.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize