Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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