In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
