SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
