I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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