who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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