FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm both gender and math confused
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
