Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
