he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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