so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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