So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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