someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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