I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Randomize
