Soap is not a condiment
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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