If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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