I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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