4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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