Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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