Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
