Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
