i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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