dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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