Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
did i just pee glitter
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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