Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
