Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
