Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
