I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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