I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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