The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
