Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
not ubering you a puppy
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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